For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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