Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
false alarm. still invincible.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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