So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm too high and old for this...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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