Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
