"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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