Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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