I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
