Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
