At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
