Yo dont text me then not text me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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