Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
