heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
