tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
