I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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