My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
