did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
