is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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