I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
