I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
