My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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