U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
