did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
