Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
