I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize