Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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