girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
