The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
