just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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