if i can run in heels then i can drive
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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