Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
