All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
