Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
