You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
