He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
