is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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