Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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