i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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