there's paper in my vomit.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
