Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I want to be your penis for a week.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
