There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
