But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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