I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize