did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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