dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
