this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
