Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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