Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
