i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
