have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
from now on my penis is your penis
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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