So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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