he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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