i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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