I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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