why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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