Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Pants are for mortals
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize