There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
