I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
