with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
