omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
