Why are handjobs necessary in class?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
