i was born a porn star she said
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize